i just want to be loved
Monday, July 18, 2005
♥ 20:42
I just want to be loved. Not the way that people would think I am referring to but I just want to be loved by my father. It was a bad start to the morning today. Emotions ran high as I tried to finish my brochure for my graphic design class. Thinking that my class started at 9, my dad kept chasing me causing me to feel even more stressed up. I couldn't take it anymore, finally i gave in, broke down and cried. He thought that I was throwing a fit but I wasn't. He doesn't understand me. He has never understood me. He thinks that he can read me like an open book but he is absolutely wrong. Why?!!! God why did you give me such a father? One who only loves my sister but not me? It's been like that since she was born. I've always suffered the bruant of your punishments, scoldings but never once, have I really been happy in your presence. When people tell you that you are practising favoritism, you always defend yourself. When mum tries to speak up for me, you scold her. If not for her, would I still have a place in this house? Many times you cause me to want to run away. Find a family that will take me in, that will love me unconditionally. I don't want to live in the shadow of my younger sister. As I see fathers picking up their daughters or sons from their kindergardens, I always envy them. Why can they experience such love whilst I can't?