I know I haven't blogged for quite some time already. Many things have happened in just this short period of time. The euphoria and depression has come and gone especially with regards to my internship. Over the past few weeks of written tests, rejections,being offered another position to me rejecting the offer.

I'm trying to convince myself that if I honour God with my decision, God will honour me and I will get a better placement somehow. It's been a rough ride since the year began but I won't give up that easily anymore. I may not be stronger or tougher but with sheer mental strength I pray that I will pull through. Plus I will learn to rely on God to get me through all these.

Exams are next week. Don't really have the confidence but I will just do my best.

Finally, we've reached the last week of school before the study break. Yet my heart is still unsettled. This SIP thing is really driving me crazy. I have no idea how am I going to endure all this waiting for the confirmation on where I will be going.

It's easy for me to say, I will exercise the faith that requires me to push on in my student life. To entrust fully that God will open the doors to the places that HE wants me to go even though it might not be what I want to do.

I pray that I will exercise this faith that I talk about now. I may be confused but I must let God take control of the situation.

Dear God, teach me to put my trust in You and You alone. Amen.

I've nothing more to say with what has been going on. Whether it's been uphill or downhill, I rest my case. Neither would I want to pray for things to get better nor for everything to be taken away. Nothing seems to be going right at the moment and somehow I want to give up. Not right to do because I've gone through so much and doing what I've been doing for so long.

Friends are part of my life and they hold a dear position. Yes I will pray for them and pray that they are doing so too. But I don't know what to do when I feel like I cannot connect with any of them anymore.

School ain't fine either. I don't know what to do anymore.

I wish my parents are in town. The pain and swelling of extracting my wisdom tooth is horrible. I this it's in times like these that you wish you have company, when you appreciate your parents more because they would know what to do when you can't eat.

I've just been bummed out at home and wondering what I can do for my next meal. It's like I find it so difficult just to eat my bowl of plain porridge. Yet, I'm too shy to walk out of my home because my face looks horrible plus I can't really talk that well.

Sigh. I probably wish for company right now. Wish for friends to drop by my place with nice liquid food. Even now I feel like eating beancurd but not knowing where I can go get it at this hour. Sigh. It sux being at home alone now.

2 more weeks of school to endure.