Thursday, August 31, 2006
♥ 23:17
One very important lesson I learnt today is that if I don't appreciate the people around me, things will go array and in the end, the relationship strained. Where did I learn this from? The movie, 'The Break Up'. Went to watch it with cia today after my last paper.
While watching the movie, my brain was searching for the right words to explain how I was feeling at that moment. I felt for the characters, I knew their frustration and sense their hurt. It was all too familiar. I cried and it was probably therapeutic because I was letting go of some feelings that have been witheld for the longest period of time. Though I didn't cry alot, I think it still helped. But in any case, this movie though have good reviews, I think it could be faster moving. Watching it at night wouldn't be a fantastic idea because well, the plot was just too draggy.
The exams are finally over. I am glad for that. I will learn to leave all things in the hands of God now. I have already done my part and well God will reward me duly.
♥ 02:02
Sometimes I feel like life is all but a movie. It's meant for others to enjoy - either laughing at us or with us; crying with us and etc. Then we are the main characters of this story. We either share our thoughts or all we do is just shut up and bear the agony. Now which side are you on?
I am the kind who will just shut up and bear the agony. I'm too afraid of revealing my true feelings or emotions in fear that the other party will not reciprocate my feelings. This being whether to my friends, fellow co-workers, family or even the one that I think I love. You see, I probably suffer from extreme fear of loneliness and rejection. I am afraid of being lonely in the first place. Maybe this is just human nature but even when I am alone at home, all I do is just to switch on my TV, laptop and use these to mute the silence in the house - makes me feel that I have company. When I feel like I've been rejected, my self-esteem drops another inch. Isn't it ironic for someone who seem to survive well being on her own?
Someone said to me that as long as we think hard enough about the type of person we want to be with in the future, it will happen. It's something like self-fulfilling prophecy. The more we think about the person we like, we will in the end be together for better or for worse. Can this be true? I'm not sure. Why don't someone try doing it and let me know? Maybe then this will give someone of us a renewed sense of hope.
Later today will be my last paper and well I'm looking forward to it. Afterall, this semster has been way too long for my liking. Whatever the case, I will trust God to see me through this last paper. Stress will not get in my way.
Monday, August 28, 2006
♥ 22:26
Everyday in this world, someone is born, someone dies, some people say 'I do' yet some people give their marriage up, some times we see the funniest thing, we see the weirdest things, we hear the songs that make us cry... the list will just go on and on.
On my way to the interview at CPF, I met this cute girl in the bus. She didn't know me, but was very friendly toward me. If anyone was with me in the bus, they would have the same sentiments too. Afterall, she's probably one of the cutest little girl I have seen in a long while.
Then, I went to meet Cia for lunch at Raffles Place and headed to the library after that. Just as I finished studying and was talking a leisure walk along the Singapore river, I saw these two couples taking their bridal photos. They look blissful yet they look like their suffering in the heat in their bridal clothes. So anyway I decided to settle myself on these seats so that I could read Persuasion. I like doing that. That way, I enjoy life in the way I enjoy best. Reading by the river, though in the heat, is the way to go. I mean that way, I enjoy the scenery that we always miss in the hustle and bustle of life.
We went for dinner after that. Well nothing much to say just that Cia is going to see much more of me now that I got the job at HSBC too. As for the upcoming paper, I pray that I can do well.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
♥ 01:06
As requested by Alicia.
Full Name: Tan Ying Si Eudora
Name backwards: arodue is giny nat
Was I name after someone: No
Meaning of name: God's gift
Nickname: dora, rara
Screen name: define screen name
D.O.B: 22 January 1988
Place of birth: Singapore Mt Elizabeth Hospital
Nationality: Singaporean
Current Location: East Singapore (DUH)
Star sign: Aquarious
Religion: Christinaity
Height: 158?
Weight: 42kg
Shoe size: 5
Hair colour: black & chestnut brown
Eye colour: deep brown
Who do I look like: both my parents
Innie or Outtie: A lil of both but mostly innie?
Leftie or Rightie: Rightie
Gay, straight, bi or others: Straight
Best friends: En, Jocelyn, Lance, Cia
Best friend I trust most: What kind of qns is this? If they are my best friends, of course I trust them the most in my life.
Favourite Pals: Those whom I hang out with and pple like Karthi (BRO) and Chuanyao
Best friend of the opposite sex: I dunno
Best buddies: All who have been listed above with the exception of some
Boyfriend or girlfriend: SO SINGLE AND NOT LOOKING
Crush: it's really a top big gun secret. No one knows.
Parents: Fine.
Worst enemy: THE DEVIL
Fav Online guy: Hmmm... one that i love to talk to
Fav Online girl: Cia (She'll kill if I didn't say that..HAHAHA)
Craziest friend: Jocelyn? En?
Advice friend: God
Loudest friend: En? Jocelyn?
Person I cry with: those whom I share my woes with
Any sisters: 2
Any brothers: nope though I wish for an older one
Any pets: No unless you count the fishes that my dad has
Any disease: Are you out of your mind?
Pagers: That was so yesterday
Personal phoneline: Yea I have 2 in fact
Cell Phone: Yea A NASTY MOTOROLA
Pool or Hot Tub: Hot Tub (HEE)
A car: no money to buy one
Personality: Get to know me and you will find out
Driving: in the midst of learning
Room: Come check it out for yourself
What's missing: Go figure
School: TP school of business
Bed colour: you mean bedsheets rite? depends.
Relationship with parents: okae
Believe in myself: I try to
Believe in love at first sight: Rather sceptical
Good listener: I suppose
Get along with my parents: We do have our differences
Save email conversations: OF COURSE
Pray: everyday
Believe in reincarnation: NO
Make fun of people: I guess
Like talking on the phone: DUH
Want to get married: Yes, I already have a dream wedding in mind (HAHAHAHA)
Like to drive: Of course
Motion sickness: Yea
Eat stem of brocoli: Yea, it's good for health
Eat chicken with fork: Yea, I'm civilised
Dream in colour: Yes
Type with fingers on home rule: I dunno what is that
Sleep with stuff animals: Yes
Next to me: is the TV remote
On the walls of my room: White walls
On my mousepad: Don't believe in using one
Dream car: A Volkswagen Bettle
Dream date: someone that I can talk to and of course in a nice, conducive environment to hold decent conversations
Dream honeymoon spot: Austria
Dream husband: If you can get me interested in you in the first place then you can go figure the qualities I look for
Bedtime: Late
Under my bed: books and notes from school
Single most important question: What does God want me to do
Bad time of a day: When I'm tired
Worst Fear: Being lonely and failing
The weather: IT"S TOO HOT AND HUMID (I don't mind Hot but I hate Humidity)
Time: 1:38AM
Date: 27 Aug 2006
Best Trick: I don't trick people
Theme Song: A wide variety - With all I am
Hardest thing about growing up: Concentrating too much on excelling, we forget to have fun
Funniest Experiences: I don't know
Scariest Experiences: Too many to recall
Silliest things I have ever said: I love you to someone who does not love me
Scariest things while I am with my friends: None
Worst feeling: a broken heart
Best feeling: happiness
The 8 whom I wish to choose: I don't choose anyone because I'm nice. =)
Saturday, August 26, 2006
♥ 22:01
1 paper down, 1 more to go. The nervousness surrounding each paper gets to me in the most horrible way. With me always wanting to PUKE. Not the best way or feeling to enter the exam hall with. But I conquered Basic Media Research and all I can pray for is that God help me pull up my grades and get that GPA I've been aiming for.
Today while walking opposite church to grab snacks, I told Lance and BJ about my dream of getting into NYU's journalism courses. Of course it seems like the dream is impossible but Lance said this line, "Impossible is nothing" quoting from the famous addidas campaign. It might spur me on to work toward this dream but of course, I am mentally prepared for the challenges that come my way. Finance would and will be the main concern here. But I have another 1 year plus to work toward my goal. Into God's hands, I commit my plans. But all I am, I'm still God's. Godwilling, I believe God will help me with my goals if not steer me to better ones.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
♥ 21:05
So I went to the dentist and horror of horror.......THE CAUSE OF THE PAIN IN MY GUM IS MY WISDOM TOOTH! But well, after the x-ray, it was shown that I cannot extract my wisdom tooth! It was too deep in and well, settling in my gum so all I can do is take painkillers. =( Went for a pampering session at VODA too! Hahahaha. Now I got pretty skin.
Ally accompanied me to the dentist today because I really needed moral support and we went for a pampering session after that. Haha. For the first time she plucked her eyebrows. Not wanting to go home so early, we went to borders and I AM ONE HAPPY GIRL BECAUSE I FINALLY BOUGHT PERSUASION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahaha!!! So I am seriously trying to resist the temption of reading the book because it's toooooo tempting! Hahaha and what's more, I bought another 2 books by Jane Austen too!!! yes!!!!!!!!!! ALL I AM GOING TO DO THIS HOLIDAY IF I REALLY CAN"T FIND A JOB IS TO READ!!!!! Hehehehe.
Time to start working on my proposal. Bummer.
♥ 09:14
Oh yes. Finally I get to use the new blogger. So I haven't pretty much been doing anything other than sleeping and sleeping and wasting my time. Seriously. I think the medication really zonks me out. Terrible terrible.
I'm visiting the dentist later. Eeks.
Monday, August 21, 2006
♥ 00:12
The wonders of the evolution of technology. I was just reading some of the e-mails that were exchanged whilst I was away in Perth. It brings back memories.
Without the technology of the Internet, I really wondered how people who are away from home survived. Rather, I wonder how those who didn't have such technology then survived being so far away from home and only hearing from them like once a month because it takes so long for the letter to be sent to them and back. It definitely bridges the distance that we are apart. If not for e-mail, I don't know how I survived. I remember one of my lines in the e-mail that I sent was that I was living on the e-mails being exchanged to rid me of wanting to go home so badly.
In any case, if not for technology, friendships would not have been forged and relationships would not have been treasured. Thanks to mobile phone technologies too. I mean without being able to call home or sms friends would definitely be a chore. Look, we practically thrive on our handphones these days. If we were to live without our mobiles for a day, I think we would feel so lost and not know how are we going survive. When our mobile doesn't ring for a day, we think that something is wrong. Yes, I think we really thrive on our phones. We've practically become a slave to them.
I love e-mailing. I should do it more often. I love writing letters too. The joy of receiving letters (not bills) enthrals me. *hints*
Have been sick for the past week. Got a major headache last nite which lasted till this morning. Didn't go to church and visited my doctor instead. Going to see a doctor is really of no use when the medication doesn't work. Good thing he only charged me for my medication today or I think I would have paid a bomb. Dental appointment this coming Tuesday. Hopefully I don't have to extract any teeth. *scared*
Friday, August 18, 2006
♥ 01:38
Sometimes I can never understand why people do things that are so stupid. Why people say things are so irresponsible? Why do people think that people are always against them when they know that they are in the wrong? Or why people get their priorities WRONG.
Life is all about making choices and many times people make the wrong choices. Making the wrong choices doesn't mean that it is a dead end and yes there are people behind you paving the way. However, why make even more bad decisions along the way when you are trying to get your life on track? I mean, we try to make things better right?
Anyway, been studying very hard for the past few days and will continue to do so for the next few days. Well I hope I don't lose steam. JIA YOU!!!
Monday, August 14, 2006
♥ 22:21
I so hate the feeling of being sick this especially when I am trying to study for my upcoming exams. It doesn't feel any better when you see the grade C+ screaming in your face when you receive your individual assignment. Then it feels like you can say bye bye to your aims/goals for this semester of getting a GPA of 3.5 because you just feel so screwed for your production work as well.
Trying to psycho myself not to concentrate on all these grades and just concentrate fully on my exams. I seriously hope that I do well for at least my electives and see the grade A for at least two of the modules I am taking. *crossing my fingers and toes*
Sunday, August 13, 2006
♥ 17:41
I am still down with some stupid flu. The medicine doesn't seem to be helping because I am still suffering from the stupid sore throat and this runny nose. Can't help but keep dozing off. So terrible. Anyway in order to lift my sick spirits, I dragged my entire family to Marina Square last night to watch fireworks again. BIG mistake. Because I seriously feel worse than after seeing doctor. But then again, it did lift my spirits seeing the fireworks right before my very eyes again.
Finally we have reached the climax of the entire school semester. The very last week of school before the exams. It's been terribly long and obviously since the rest are already on their study break, I really feel like crashing out of school this entire week and just stay at home. Afterall, we are just going to have revision like the entire time. This is of course after our monday dateline for our radio project. Worrying about it because seriously, it has and never will be my strong point.
Oh wells, another week ahead filled with activities.
Friday, August 11, 2006
♥ 23:54
I just got home from watching the fireworks at marina bay. I am still high from it even though my throat and head are burning. Well I caught either the flu bug or my usual throat infection. BUT my fireworks took my fever away for that duration. =)))))
I am happy! Very happy! Fireworks uplift my mood. =)
Friday, August 04, 2006
♥ 09:34
The up and down roller coaster of life can take a toll on anyone when it becomes too much to bear. People say that I am perpetually down or that I think too much but I can't help but realise that there are times that I was happy too just that well, maybe I just don'w harp on them.
Sometimes for someone who has been through a lot in the past two years of her life just wish that God will give her a break. I wish that God will stop breaking and moulding me just as I am trying to fill my shoes in the situation that He has put me in. I hate it when God bring people into my life then they walk out again.
My only weakness is that I love someone way before the feeling is being recirocated. However, this doesn't happen much because it's not that easy to love someone. On and off as I watch TV programs, all the time they talk about love and I learn something from there. I see myself in the shows at time. Things like if you love someone, you don't have to be with the person as long as the person you love is happy etc. But can that really be aplied in reality? Can I really love a person in which I know will never be with me or won't love me back as how I love him?
I was never part of the equation was I?
