Sometimes, I don't understand why people like to do this - one minute hot, the next minute cold. Or even why people start to talk to you only when they have to ask you for things or your help. I mean this is not what friendship is all about right?

It's as though I'm only your friend when you need my help. Sometimes I feel so taken advantage of because somehow, I just don't feel sincerity when I get thanked. It's like I am your fair weathered friend. No need my help, you don't come to talk to me anymore. Are you taking advantage of me on the account of our past relationship? Moreover, it always seem like the 26 of each month is jinxed. I don't know why I feel this way but true enough I feel miserable every 26th.

Enough said. School is tiring. I don't understand how I can tahan being in school for almost an entire day. I feel like my brain has been fried but I am still trying to do my assignments. It's really quite sad that all that matters in life now is assignments, projects and studying for exams. I suppose there is more to life than this but sometimes, because of the society's emphasis on academics, I feel like I put too much in it.

Anyway went to the Paul Baloche workshop yesterday. It was so good! You can really feel God's presence in the worship hall while we were all worshiping after the workshop. BTW. THE GUITARIST, IS HOT! A man after God's heart is truly good lopking. =)

Shall get back to marking my script. =(

I JUST SLAPPED ZHENGYING and she went TMD! hahahahahaha. I am practically rotting in the school library because I am very very bored. Waiting for the poly forum training to start. It's been rather uneventful in my life just that all I have been doing is just study, give tuition, do assignments and watch soccer.

Speaking about soccer. I HATE THE REFS WHO WERE OFFICIATING THE AUST AND GHANA GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean why award penalty kicks or claim that the goals are valid when the players are clearly offside?! CRAZY! Ok I shall stop talking about it because my blood boil until cannot boil already.

I AM HUNGRY!!! Going to eat now.

World Cup Fever is really getting to me. Been staying up late to watch the matches and was super tempted to stay up for the England match but decided against the latter as I had to go to school today for project work.

So was in the library again and as usual, I was waiting for the rest to arrive. I am such a sucker for punctuality that well, I don't really like waiting for people especially when it has got to do with school work. Discussed and started researching for the sociology paper. Hopefully we will do well for it. Afterall, the topic of the project is interesting, touch on marriage and family. And of course because I was doing research, took the opportunity to see some wedding gowns etc. Haha. I can't wait for the time that I am old enough to get married.

Finally I did the laundry today. But unfortunately, my room is still in a mess. Haha. I think the day that my room becomes so clean, will be the day that it snows in singapore. Hahaha. Okay, my headache is killing me. Shall end here. =)

P.S. Thanks for everything. =)

CHANNING TATUM!!!! HE IS SOOOOO HOT!!!!!!!!! I wish I went to watch the movie earlier. Hahaha.... okay I am going bonkers here.

So now I am home alone with the family in Malaysia for their church camp. Well I like it that I have the house to myself even though it can get very quiet, something that I am not quite used to. And because I am alone, decided to meet up with some secondary school friends. Met up with Shir this morning and we watched Cars. Thanks for the treat! =) Then in the evening, met up with cia, vt and huiis and that was when we watched She's The Man. It had us in stitches throughout the movie and of course we were all gushing over him. Haha.

Nothing much to say today.

I just finished reading the book that I borrowed from the library today. Maybe I should keep away from the romance novels coz it only sets me thinking. It's worse when the characters wait ten years to realise their true love and get back together. I wonder, will it happen to me?

I long so much for me to move on in life. Give myself and others a chance. I want so much to succeed in all that I do, church, school and even relationships. The more I hold back, the more I can't move on but I am afraid to take the first step. I am afraid that if I make the first move, I will regret it. Maybe I think way too much. I should just stop reading such novels.

Filming at RP was okay. I wasn't really in the best of conditions to go for filming. Was feeling so uncomfortable the whole time I was there. Stayed back after that to digitize the shots that we took and hopefully we can come up with something super impressive. It was nice to go to West Coast Park after the filming to have lunch at Macs where we could see the van while eating. Wasn't really safe to leave all the equipment in the van. Would cost us an arm and a leg to pay the school back for the loss of equipment. I like the environment there. I like it when it's quiet and intimate enough to hold conversations. I love taking long rides where I can just sit there and let my mind wander.

Stayed up late to watch the England game yesterday. It was so boring for a good 80 mins because it seemed like school boys were on the field, all the defending like crazy. The goal post so big also can miss. England could have scored many goals but ah carelessness. I figured that it's gotta do with lucky too. BUT IN ANY CASE, ENGLAND WON!!!!! =) I think that's all that matters to me, the England fan. Haha. I just hope they do better the next match.

I gotta start on my assignments. Time is running out.

Finally signed up for my basic theory! This marks the beginning of me taking up driving! =) Took up another tuition student today. Hopefully this experience would be much better than taking the present one who only knows how to shrug her shoulders when a questioned is asked or don't do her homework as required.

Went to RP today to talk to the executive producer of the poly forum ads. I tell you, I am so thankful that I am not studying there. The campus is very big but because it is not fully completed yet, it is rather messy. Well the only good thing I like there is the open concept of the library where it facilitates group discussions. But then the overall outlook of the place looks like a hospital. That's rather sad for a school. Oh Ya! They want the school to be a paperless environment. So weird. How to go to school without the use of paper? Can't possibily keep bringing your lappie around rite? So weird.

Will be going there again tomorrow for the actual filming. I hope that all goes well and we finish early. Time to start on my assignments proper!

I don't know but the world around me seems to be falling apart. My friends are feeling rather screwed in their life too but I certainly do not know what is happening but I can only pray that all is well.

It's the holidays and I really am exhausted by the activities that are planned ahead. To think of the filming that is going to take place, I suddenly feel the sense of dread, no longer the excitment that I felt a long time ago. When I think of doing my assignments, I am overcomed with fear that I would not be able to finish them or even if I do, it will not be the best.

I am at a lost for words for words cannot describe how I feel.

Okay. So I haven't been updating this blog much but nothing pretty much has happened except for the fact that I have completed my term test and I got an A for my test. Hahahaha. Okay that in itself is self-explanatory.

Other than getting that A for my paper, Ihave nothnig much to rejoice about. ya, many of you will say that I am just thinking too much or dwelling in self-pity but when I take a step back and look at my life, I feel that I am too stupid to let certain things happen.

Sometimes when school gets in the way, when the needs for affliation gets in the way, certain priorties get pushed way way down in your life that the alarm bells start ringing. I mean it sux when your priorities in life are all wrong and when you know that it's all wrong, you still don't do anything about it. Now, that's me in my life. So fantastic right?

It's the holidays but it certainly doesn't feel like it because I am still ladden with deadlines though I can do my assignments at my own pace. Ultimately I think last minute will still be done coz it seems like there's too much to do at any one time. I feel so tired all the time even though I seem to get enough rest. I don't know what's wrong with me. Oh wells.

I realised something about me. I get weaker each time I am faced with challenges in life. Everytime I feel like I have failed that's why these challenges are presented before me. Maybe I have low self-esteem, maybe I just fail in my life. I am not sure. All I can say to those reading this, maybe it's better if you don't probe and if you do and I tell you more, don't come down hard on me. Life is as tough as it can get already.

P.S. Shopping and chocolates or anything that releases endorphines doesn't help anymore.