It seems like you hardly come online anymore. Maybe you do but you just stay away from me. It's been 3 days since I last heard from you, I am getting more worried about you. I can only pray that you are feeling better. I can only pray that God has spoken to you and told you how much He loves you. I can only pray that your love for God has been revived.

To 52623: I really don't know how much longer I can hold up anymore. The pain I have worrying about you is tremendous. These are my unspoken words to you here on this blog. I wish that you have this blog address to read of how much I worry about you but I guess it's best at times that you don't read my blog because you will be at a lost of what to do too. Maybe you are not talking to me because you need time to sort out your feelings and thoughts. I'm trying hard to control myself not to SMS or even call you, hoping to give you enough space and not feel that I am being too overly concern for you. Answer my question, do you still love God? Will I hear from you soon? Will I know that you are ok??

To Shirin: Thanks for doing up my blog for me. It's a really nice bloggy and thanks for putting up with me especially since I am so picky. Thanks for comforting me over the phone. Thanks for helping me sort out my thoughts. Thanks for hearing me whine and complain. Thanks for just being there.

To Yien: Take care of him for me, will you? Be the light for him to see him through this rough patch of time. I know things are not easy because you are still trying to deal with yourself but hey gurl, Jocelyn and I are always here for you. In fact even Lance will be here for you. =)

To Jocelyn: You crazy gurl! Haha...always sleeping and shopping. Glad to hear that you have matured,become even more mature than me. Wells continue to walk close with the Lord and serve Him ya?

So much for shoutouts. I figured that is time in my life to make some decisions that would cause some people to be shocked, some people to question why. For the past few weeks, I have been thinking if I should move on from TWPC and go over to be with my family. I know that it pains my mother not to see me so very often since I am so actively serving God in YZ and in church when it comes to the musicale. It's been weighing on my mind. But I figured that maybe this thought is only coming through because I am trying to escape from my feelings or even escaping from myself. Would I stop deceiving myself? I don't know. But I know it's better to deceive myself at times, taking the escapist route.

Dear God, show me Your way and guide me. Tell me what You want me to do with my life. Tell me how I can serve You even better. Tell me what to do, O Lord.