Has it ever occurred to you that sometimes when you think that you have solved this major problem, another major problem/worry comes along?? It's just so tiring at times that you question, "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?"

In times like this when you feel so drained and your faith seems to be stretched to the limit, you want to throw in the towel and just leave everything behind. I know how it feels because I too am feeling the same way. I just want to run away from all the commitments and just REST! But as I talked to Zhiqiang today, he told me that I would miss this period of time, serving in YZ where my faith was stretched by the Lord in future. Would I really miss this traumatic experience? I have no idea. Maybe I would, maybe I won't. Only God knows.

It's never easy to serve God. Nobody said it was but now when we only see problems placed in front of us, life never seem more troubling and tough. It's even harder when you are handling so many things at one time and you are just crumbling under all the pressure. It's worse when you can't seem to find anyone to confide in.

I guess the Lord knows the pressure and weariness that we are feelings. It's just like what the verse said in Ephesians, the Lord knows what is best for us and there is good in every situation that we are placed in. Well, the tension between us good friends have since cleared and it definitely gave me a deeper understanding to the verse we read in Ephesians during comm meeting yesterday. The Lord is merciful and really answers prayers because so many things happened that we can't say that it happened out of coincidence that it happened. We've experienced it firsthand for ourselves and I pray that we will apply this same principle in this situation.

To u: I feel so helpless seeing you so down and being so hard on yourself. I wish I can give you a big hug to tell you that I will help you through this rough patch, walking towards the plan that God has installed for you. I want to tell you how much you are loved and how much the Lord is doing for you at this point in time. I know that it's hard to cope and you feel like giving up. I won't force you to give answers or make hasty decisions, for you know what you should be doing at this point in time. I'm always here, ready to fight this war together with you.

God has a purpose for both you and me. Though I cannot decipher what God wants me to do at this point in time, in the future, I want to be able to say that I am a god-fearing person that walks closely with God even when things don't turn out fine.