People say that life is full of ups and downs, life is about making choices, life is about meeting people. Somehow I have had enough of all this crap about life because life to me is something so fragile that it seems worthless to lead a life anymore.

I know that the purpose that I am born or rather why I am living is because I am to do God's work. But it's hard to believe that God really wanted me here to be His shining light because I feel so unhappy. Unhappy with myself, unhappy at home.

Outsiders will look at my family and say that I am blessed to have parents like them but do they really see the real picture? I know that I shouldn't be saying all these. Afterall, God did not give me a choice to be born in a family that I would love to live in. But things are just so tough when negative feelings are abound between me and this family member. Why scream at me at the slightest whim? Why doubt me when I am being genuine? Why treat me like I was picked up from the rubbish bin?

I want to live in a home where I feel loved. There's no need to give me the best of everything but just give me all the love that you can give. That's all I ask. Is that asking for too much? Haix.

The new school term has begun. The timetable is rather slack with me only going to school in the morning. But I guess it's God's blessing because He knows that I would not be able to cope with a tough timetable with all the impedning activities in church and all.

Oh wells. So much for rejoicing about that.