Okay, so I was in school today with Vicnan and Joo Ann to prepare for next week's presentation again. Guess I wasn't really in much of a mood doing it because I was greeted by the cheers and laughter of those who were at OTC and having so much fun playing the games. Well I know I shouldn't be mopping over it because as I've said before, we all gotta make some tough decisions and I chose to put my academic stuff as a priority. I know that I should change this attitude of mine about not liking to serve the school that I am studying in but well I really gotta do well in school otherwise I would not have the chance to further my studies whether locally or abroad after I graduate.

Sometimes I feel that I have lost my confidence, my voice. I don't dare speak up for myself anymore. I just accept things as they come along now and most of the time, stop questioning why things happen anymore. It's not because I have decided to be peace loving but rather I have long given up questioning. Questioning only brings about more pain, more worries and sometimes more frustration. I'm so sick of questioning that I don't want to do it anymore.

I really wonder what has this world become. Why are friendships so fragile these days that when one makes new friends, they tend to forget those who have been around them for a much longer period? Why forsake your old friends for the new? It's hurting but obviously people do not know. What do they know about the other person when you have only known her for like what, 2 weeks? Why do people listen to her acid words and let what she says affect how you look at a fellow sister-in-christ? Such things I don't understand but I only wish to say that open your eyes, ears and heart before making decisions about forsaking old friends. You don't know what you are missing out.

Seriously why do people have such terrible habits such as talking behind people's backs? Not that I am not guilty of doing so but seriously, why can't we all just accept one another for who we are and not use our words to bring down another person when we don't know that person personally. I'm just so sick and tired of everything that I wish that God will really make this world a better place to live in. Sigh.

It's the last day of this incredibily fast year in a few hours time. I don't know what I have accomplished for this year. I don't know how much I have grown in terms of spiritual maturity and even having the maturity that will help me survive in this world. I just pray and hope that next year would be a fruitful year where at the end, I can say that I have run a good race and fought a good fight.