I am so exhuasted. I am up this early because I gotta head down to church for a meeting in a while's time and I was still preparing the materials for the meeting. It is just so irritating that when you are trying to get things dones but there are people that just don't co-operate with you resulting in you having to wait and wait and wait just to get it done. I hate it. Wasting my time when I could be doing other things.

Yesterday was Emmanuel concert and well the alumni band decided to cut down one piece before we went up on stage because we felt that we were playing horribly that we wanted to cancel at first. Well in the end I thought that the alumni put up a good show. One thing I regretted though was that I didn't play for a good part of the song because I was simply distracted. My mind was wandering to somewhere in the past when we last played the song back in 2003. This was even though Alicia told me not to get distracted. I couldn't help it. We played the song together once and it was because of the hardowork we out in to that performance we put up in 2003 that we got to know each other better.


In case you are wondering, no I am still struggling but maybe I am just not showing it on my face. I am just so afraid to see him in school that I am simply RUNNING away. Take for example yesterday I was waiting for Zhengying at the 'mushroom' and I knew that he was having lecture at the egineering block. I just wanted to get out of that place asap because I didn't want him to see me and I didn't want to see him. I feel so stupid! I really feel very stupid. WHY AM I SO DUMB!

I have officially started my mugging life. I don't know is this because I want to occupy my mind so that I won't think of anything else. Maybe this is the end as well. I don't know.