You know sometimes after a long period of time and you feel that you have recovered from a heartache but truth is you haven't and you are actually hurting like mad. That's the way I am feeling at this point in time.

For 2 long years, I thought that I will be fine now, able to brace myself for whatever comes my way especially if it concerns HIM. Never did I expect to be hurting like shit after hearing from a good friend that she saw him with HIS girlfriend today and how they were behaving in the cinema. No, don't get me wrong, I don't think they were making out. I never knew that it could hurt so bad even after so long. I didn't know that there was something within me that still longed for something with him.

It makes things worse that now we are in the same school. I sort of knew that he came to TP for a reason and not the reason that he gave me. Maybe HIS girlfriend is in TP too. Maybe one day I will see them walking around in school. But then again, I probably wouldn't know because I don't think that he will hold her hand in case he sees me around. BUT IT STILL HURTS.

Please don't blame me for feeling this way. I didn't know that I would react this way. I didn't know that part of me wanted us to have another chance again. I don't know how am I going to face him now. Maybe now I will start dodging around in school. Maybe now I will just put blinkers on my eyes and FOCUS on my books.





Dear God, please heal this pain in me. It hurts terribly and I really feel like shit at this point in time. Help me not to HATE and help me not to question you why you want me to suffer like this. Mend that hole in my heart that has been left alone for 2 years. Amen.