Sometimes I feel like life is all but a movie. It's meant for others to enjoy - either laughing at us or with us; crying with us and etc. Then we are the main characters of this story. We either share our thoughts or all we do is just shut up and bear the agony. Now which side are you on?

I am the kind who will just shut up and bear the agony. I'm too afraid of revealing my true feelings or emotions in fear that the other party will not reciprocate my feelings. This being whether to my friends, fellow co-workers, family or even the one that I think I love. You see, I probably suffer from extreme fear of loneliness and rejection. I am afraid of being lonely in the first place. Maybe this is just human nature but even when I am alone at home, all I do is just to switch on my TV, laptop and use these to mute the silence in the house - makes me feel that I have company. When I feel like I've been rejected, my self-esteem drops another inch. Isn't it ironic for someone who seem to survive well being on her own?

Someone said to me that as long as we think hard enough about the type of person we want to be with in the future, it will happen. It's something like self-fulfilling prophecy. The more we think about the person we like, we will in the end be together for better or for worse. Can this be true? I'm not sure. Why don't someone try doing it and let me know? Maybe then this will give someone of us a renewed sense of hope.

Later today will be my last paper and well I'm looking forward to it. Afterall, this semster has been way too long for my liking. Whatever the case, I will trust God to see me through this last paper. Stress will not get in my way.