It's the last 20 minutes of christmas before it's the start of a brand new day. Things that have happened cannot be reversed but only can pray that what ever has happened will be thrown into the depths of our memories that we will never remember them. Sometimes I don't know what I am doing in my life, screwing up time and time again especially when it comes to the affairs of the heart. I hate it that I'm always screwing up because I'm too emotional or get too attached with the person.

It's funny that people can say how their lives have been transformed because they have met someone new - someone who loves them etc. I think your life is in your own hands and it's really up to you if you want to change or not. No one can cause the change in your except God and yourself.

It's funny how people say that they can smile again because they have found someone who makes them laugh and smile. Shouldn't we be able to do that on our own because it's dependent on our outlook of life?

It's weird how I can make the most dumb mistake on a special day like christmas and hope that whatever has happened can be reverted. In my dreams maybe it'll happen but in reality, I seriously don't know. All I need is an answer - not the answer I want to hear but the truth. Tell me how you feel. Tell me what you want from me.

I hate this grey line - the line we so often cross between friends and being a couple. GREY LINES ARE SUCKY. I'm afraid I'm not those kind of people who have the courage to just go up to the person and clear the grey line. But yet, inevitably, there will always be grey lines in every friendship and relationship.

Dear God, give me the courage we all need from you. Courage to face and deal with problems that may be hindering my relationship with You and the others. This could be the greatest gift of all if I may have this blessing, Lord. Amen.