If there's one thing I can pray for now, it would be that people understand me. People to stop pushing me, people to stop putting high hopes on me. I don't want to be the driving force of my project groups anymore. I don't want to have to sacrifice my weekends to deal with things that can be done during the week but because of complancy, we have to do it during the time which is meant for MYSELF.

No one will be able to understand why I am suffering from my third meltdown in this semster. Why doesn't anyone take me seriously when I tell them that I am suffering? Why do all of you call me emo? Are you guys looking from my point of view? I don't know. I only pray that the people around me start to be more sensitive and more importantly understand me.

I may be sounding selfish but I really need time for myself. It's been long enough that I haven't had to the opportunity to really spend the day chilling out or reading or even writing. Just having to plan to go on one simple shopping trip, it's been postponed for so many times. To endure a lousy week after another lousy week just makes me long for my life back once more.

I don't like it that my life is just revolving around school, church, school and church. What happened to the other pleasures in life? It's no laughing matter to hear that I've cried on the public transport on my way around. Please stop saying I am being emo because I don't want to kill myself okay?! I'm just sick and tired of having to lead such a life. I'm sick and tired of being misunderstood at home. Feeling like no one cares and no one understands even the people closests to me.

Maybe I should thank you for provoking me even more. Maybe I should thank you for screaming at me when I am already filling so down and out. Maybe I should thank you for breaking my heart over and over again. When will you ever understand? Will my life ever stop revolving just around school only? Will I ever not be lonely? WILL I EVER BE UNDERSTOOD?

God, make everything work. I cannot take it anymore. I hate rough days, weeks that seem to last for eternity.