I'm filled with mixed emotions as I watch "Music & Lyrics" again. I don't know why but I know that I'm trying super super hard not to be hung up on things that I shouldn't be. Trying to have a super positive outlook of life isn't that easy as you would think that it is. Some people are born naturally to be more negative and there are some who are really positive. I think I belong to the group that tends to be more negative even though I may not seem like this to many people.

Everyday I feel like I'm dragging myself to work. Much as I wish that I would start to love my job as much as I loved it when I first started my internship, I find it tougher and tougher. I realised that everything may not be as glamourous as it seems and no matter how others think that I'm being paid more, we are in fact still working for a petty sum. Hai. It's not that I want to complain or what-so-ever. I wish that I would be able to take leave off from work to have some time away from the office, to enjoy the days I had as a student. I really wonder if one day, I will ever find a job that I will love.

It sux having to turn on the television and watch programs that perpetually speak about love. I finished reading "Boy Meets Girl" in the office yesterday and somehow I felt even worse than before. I really don't know what to do anymore. Even though I am grateful for singlehood and being able to serve God with whatever free time I have, I do wish that I have someone around for me. It may seem that I have someone in mind, but I don't know what to do. I want to be like that godly woman that is spoken of in the book. I don't want to rush into things or even be the one that makes the first move because I don't want to end up undermining the guys's leadership. Sighs.

Please teach me to be patient. Please open my heart, ears and eyes to see what You've planned for me.