Been on MC for the past 3 days. Guess being sick means that I get a well-deserved break because I get to sleep alot. But it's also a time whereby everything sets in and I get all emo. Ah the usual drift whenever I'm not feeling well.

It's come to a point whereby I just wonder what would have happened if I hadn't make certain decisions in my life. It's like I look back and ask, what would I have become if I had chose to tell someone that I liked Him or would I be happier now if I hadn't rejected STOMP's offer. Things like that. Although my friends would never fail to remind me that it was a good thing I hadn't been stupid enough to let my moment of folly rule my entire life, I still wonder and of course ask myself if things would have changed for the better. Would it be that friendship be not what it is today? Seriously, I wonder.

Every few months where I get the chance to stop and look back, I fall into this problem of regretting. I probably regret A LOT of stuff but I suppose I'm starting to learn how to not let all these things affect me. The process of growing up allows for mistakes but the moulding process is really painful.

I can lament forever about how tough life has been since I was 16. But I can also go on forever about how strong I would have become. Yet, I don't know how strong I am because I feel so bogged down. So please tell me if you know me. God, speak to me too.