Once again, the week has gone by and if you ask me what is the most productive thing I've done this week, it would definitely be helping Auntie Pauline at her office on Wednesday evening. I really cannot handle the fact that I'm wasting so many hours of my life every single day when I'm in the office. PLEASE GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO.

I was on MC yesterday. Nope it was a geniune case of me not feeling well and therefore staying at home. I wouldn't dare just go to see a doctor and get MC just because I don't feel like working. SIP IS AT STAKE HERE! Wouldn't want to screw up this internship and then get lousy grades. It's all too important for me to really do well this last year in poly so that I can enter university next year.

Given time to really think about what I wanted to pursue yesterday, I felt that I am at this crossroads where I don't know what is good for me anymore. I don't know if I should apply for journalism or marketing as my major, I don't even know if I can enter uni with the kind of grades that I have now. I am afraid with the stiff competition that I've noted at this year's university admission. I don't want to end up having to work first and putting studies in the back seat. It was never my intention in the plan I literally thought of for my life.

You may think that I'm inflexible but I suppose having a plan beats not having one at all. I cannot imagine me going through the routines of life not knowing what I am heading towards or why in the first place I'm doing all these. I may simply not care anymore why I am placed at Suntec Singapore, I may simply not care anymore that I'm single and seem to meet jerks most of the time. But yet, I know that I want to be able to make it in life. It helps. It helps maintain my sanity at the very least.

At last night's dinner, I thought about something. Maybe I should volunteer my services to the library every weekend to read to the children. It's a nice, voluntary thing to do. I mean to be able to feed children the knowledge and the imagination of the litery world, it's noble! I love it when I see children being interested in books. I should try calling the community libraries soon.

I'm back to watching One Tree Hill. For some apparent reason, it can get me to cry. I think teenage shows like these really tug my heart strings because I do understand the pain that some of them go through. It's reality in the almost perfect world of tv. It's just like watching Ugly Betty. Same logic there. I mean in the world of fashion, love and sex, a girl like Betty is always forgotten.

I want to be known for my geniune self. Not someone who is just not bad looking, studied in CMM at TP or even known as Evan's sister or Pastor Tim's daughter. I want to be known as me, Eudora and as the girl who pursues her dream. I pray that in the eulogy that people would write of me, would be one that speaks of the qualities that I don't even know I possess. I want to know how I've touched the lives of those around me. I want to be able to believe that I've made a difference in this world and not led a very selfish life. I hope that's not too much to ask for in a simple life.

So let me ask you today, what would you write about me and what would you want me to write about you? Let this be a question that weigh heavily on our minds that we use this question to spur us on to be better people, better people for God. =)