It's already Thursday, which means that tomorrow is the last day of the work week! I don't know how much longer I can delude myself about trying to love my job. I am definitely not being difficult here but I wish that I don't feel so left out from my department. As much as I try to talk to them and try to be more enthusiastic about department activities, there is still this void. It's like today, they had planned this mini celebration of some sort and well, I had to go out and run an errand, when I came back, everyone was AWOL. There were times when they just see me and another person working, they ask if we're the only two, they in turn reply "yea just the two of us, me and H". LIKE HELLO?! AM I NOT WORKING TOO?!! It hurts.

I know I can't expect much thinking that I am leaving in another three months. But just treat me like I belong. Please, that's all I am asking. I don't want to end up feeling so alienated that at the end of the day, all I want is to be able to have a working working relationship. If you all know what I mean.

I'm tired. I don't want to try to fit in anymore.