This entire week would have been the most trying of the lot since I've started working. The juggling of every little detail from church to my own life to work is really tough and just when you thought that you have juggled everything well, everything crumble into pieces right before your very eyes.

Having to deal with the feelings of going to a place that you don't feel welcomed in is hard enough but when the people there start turning their backs on you, the feeling becomes so intense that you want to do something drastic. In my case, it almost means throwing in the towel, quitting and then fail my entire course in poly. It may be stupid in this case but I'm so exhausted trying to please everyone only to have them turn around and say that I've not been doing things that I have been. If you know me well enough, I hate to earn money and not be doing anything in the office that deserves me earning so much. Hence, when I have nothing to do, I would constantly ask for work until I guess people would think that I am irritating. Yet, I've been accused of not taking the initiative to ask for work and they think that I am under performing. But I ask myself, how can I be performing if I am not given enough opportunities to showcase myself? I don't want to deal with all these anymore. Just let the last 8 weeks fly by so quickly.

I wish I had that special remote in the show, Click!. I don't care if I would be missing out on a lot of things because I choose to fast forward and go past this internship period. I just want it to be over! I know I am not a quitter but a fighter, yet, I think I've tried hard enough. No more energy to fight with emotions that overwhelm me everyday.

On hindsight, this week was also one that was rather exciting with Mids Underway and sending Jon off at the naval base. It was a fun time when we headed down for underway in town and meeting up with his friends who were really friendly and funny. I had a good time laughing at all the jokes. Definitely a good way to unwind from everything that is happening. Sending Jon off was really weird because we were there with his parents. Good thing they were friendly too so there weren't any awkward silences between all of us. 6 weeks will pass really fast I suppose.

Seasons of life this coming week. BUSY BUSY BUSY. I rather be busy about church than with anything else. Just praying very hard that more kids will sign up in the next few days so that we can hit our target.

Oh wells, get me through the next 8 weeks.