It's ironic that now that I am back in school, I just can't wait for it to end. The more I go for classes and hear the impending projects that we have to do and complete, all the deadlines, they are scaring me away. Yet, I like the challenge I have ahead of me to conquer all these projects and hopefully do very well in school that I can go to uni next year.

The plans ahead for myself are so uncertain that I don't know what would become of me. Honestly, this planning for university is something that is weighing so heavily on my mind that it's starting to cause me be stressed up. With everyone asking me what I want to do after I graduate, where do I plan to further my studies and what major I want to take, I wonder how on earth I would last long enough to answer all these questions. I know that it's causing me unnecessary stress but I don't know how not to think of it anymore.

These past few days, I have been such that I don't know what is going to become of me. All I have been thinking about is running away. Running away from all the responsibilities that I have, run away from reality. Maybe I haven't had enough time to rest because after SIP I got back into the swing of things and started working.

Ministry, school, work, driving, family and friends. I wonder where on earth am I going to find so much time. I know this is a personal choice and I can choose to drop one. Sometimes I wish that I don't have to worry about finances and go ahead with some of the plans that I have. Yet, I cannot be selfish and constantly think of myself.

I shared this prayer request with my DGL telling her that I am so weary, so disheartened. I don't know if all the effort I am going to put in to school would get me anywhere. Yet, God promised in the bible that He knows the plans for us, plans to prosper and not to harm us. He will pave the way even if we cannot see it now. I am trying so hard to cling on to these promises.

Lord, I want to lay everything at Your feet. Help me. Restore me.